What it's Really Like to Be a Server

One of the gentlemen who took this class wrote about it for his lady, who is a professional dominant. You can find the story of his tea here.

Qualifications of a Tea Server

Since the object of this group is not necessarily for a Mistress to meet a potential slave, or vice versa, your marital status is not an issue. The ability to be available for the parties and training IS an issue. Training is usually on Saturdays and involves a full day, or two half days. Teas are usually on Sunday afternoons with some teas being scheduled on Saturday afternoons. If you cannot be available on these days, then please don't waste our time by applying. We don't have midweek training, nor will we send out your name to our members who might want to take advantage of your "other" talents. This is a tea society, not a dating service or singles bar.If you are owned, your Mistress MUST give written or oral permission for you to take the training and serve at the teas.

If it should happen that a Mistress desires to speak to you, the training Mistress will arrange for the two of you to speak after your duties are completed, or during a break when you are not otherwise needed. If you are interested in meeting a particular Mistress, you may tell the training Mistress who will convey your request for a conversation to the Mistress in question. If the lady in question is interested, and ONLY then, the training Mistress will set up an opportunity for you to speak with the Mistress. Please bear in mind that meeting someone at one of these parties is not the primary function. Many of the ladies are not of the proper orientation for seeking a male submissive. Many are already suited. If meeting a Mistress is your only goal, please do NOT apply. It has happened that a lady seeks further contact with a server she has met at a tea, but it is by no means certain that this is going to happen. You may keep in mind that most people tend to enter relationships with people whom they know.

Physical appeal is NOT what they are looking for. Do not send photos with your initial application. I'm getting rather tired of the time they waste downloading in my email. The qualities of submissiveness and willingness to serve are the important ones. Your looks are NOT a primary consideration. And if you send a photo of your genitalia, your email address will be permanently banned from the teaserver's list.

Other Qualifications:

First and foremost, good health. We don't want you coughing over our food.
Secondly, a measure of grace and familiarity with common household skills.
Thirdly, the ability to learn quickly and well.
Fourthly, a skill such as facial, manicure or massage is a big plus.
Fifthly, the ability to refrain from gossip.
Sixthly, the willingness to be a table or footstool if such is required of you.
Seventhly, the willingness to serve ALL the ladies, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, submissive, vanilla, and transgendered. We will not put up with your prejudices.
Lastly, you must be over 25, no exceptions except servers who are the personal property of a lady on the list.

Do not bother writing that you want to be owned. As stated before, we are not a dating service.
Please click here to apply as a potential server.

Duties of a Teaserver

Ladies and gentlemen, if you are planning on applying for a position as a teaserver, please read the entire page. We do not want you wasting your time or ours by applying when you are not serious about serving our group. We are no longer accepting applications from anyone NOT in our area, or at least in California, Nevada, or another neighboring state. We have found that people applying from out of state never show up for training. Thus, they waste the time of the ladies who interview them. Plus, the classes always have a waiting list, and if we waste a space on someone from out of town, someone local misses their chance at training.

The duties of a tea boy or girl may include activities as diverse as cleaning the hostess' bathroom before a party to baking brownies to be served at the tea. Servers are there for the pleasure of the ladies. Their wants and needs are not of importance. Their duty is to serve. The service required is not for them to choose. The whole point is that the ladies are pleased.

Tea parties are not play parties. The entire function of the teaservers is to wait on the ladies as unobtrusively as possible. Servers are NOT there to be noticed. A server who initiates a conversation with a lady, who draws attention to himself, or who fails to perform his service neatly, quietly and skillfully, will not be used again. If a server expects to be used sexually, or to be spanked or otherwise played with, then he/she will not make a good teaserver. This is not your purpose. Teaservers are service oriented. A teaserver is there to make the afternoon as carefree and pleasant for the ladies as possible. You need to realize that this is a TEA party. The ladies will drink tea and eat sandwiches and discuss things. They are NOT going to play with you. You are ONLY there to serve.

A teaserver sets up and serves tea, cleans up after the party, and departs quietly. Serving attire consists of a neatly cleaned and cared for birthday suit and a black bow tie. The server may speak only to the serving mistress or to the hostess unless answering a direct question, or if necessary to ascertain the wishes of a lady he is serving. The serving mistress is aware of any limits, time constraints, etc. involving each server at the party, and will look out for the welfare of the servers. 

A server with too many limits and constraints as regards serving will not be accepted for training. It is necessary for servers to go through a training course before serving at a tea. NO EXCEPTIONS. The training is quite complete and takes the entire day.* If you won't be able to do this, please don't apply. Training is done at Erich's house in San Jose, or Domina's house in Santa Rosa.** We feel that training is necessary, and that it also gives the servers a good idea of what will be expected of them at the party. Teaservers are expected to donate $40 each for the day of training. This is to cover the cost of the training materials and a sandwich lunch for the servers. Other than that, servers are only expected to provide their own bow ties. Any shop that sells or rents formal attire can supply you with a black bow tie.

It is allowed and encouraged if the servers would like to bring some dainty that they have prepared with their own hands to serve to the ladies at a tea party. It is also acceptable to bring flowers or some small token as a gift to the hostess. Gifts are NOT however, mandatory. Good manners, skill, and forethought is one way to get noticed by the hostess and other ladies. We do not expect the servers to contribute to the cost of the teas. Your willing service is your contribution. 

At this time, sissy maids are allowed only by permission of the lady hostessing the tea. Please don't whine about this. We do not allow deviation from the attire stated above unless the hostess who is having the tea gives permission. The training requirements are still the same.  

Please click here to apply as a potential server.

* We have recently changed the training classes to reflect the costs of putting them on. Servers are now required to pay $40 for training. If you miss the class, and do not call at least two days ahead of time, you are still required to pay the $40. This is because it is increasingly difficult for the instructors to continue bearing the cost personally for this.

**Private training is available ONLY if you wish to pay for it. Domina charges $1000 for a private day long tea training course. Please remember that these people do training as volunteer work for the Society. If you need a special training day, they will be giving up their own free time, which is valuable, so it is not unreasonable for them to charge for this.

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